Apparently, somebody let X-COPS out of holding again.
The self-proclaimed failures of law enforcement have returned with Confidential, a surprise three-track 7-inch release available now through Pit Records. The record arrives while the band is on tour supporting GWAR, which should tell you just about everything you need to know regarding the evening’s expected level of good behavior.
The new release features three original tracks, including “Smartass (Hands Up),” continuing the band’s tradition of combining heavy music, outrageous characters and a complete disregard for anything resembling professional conduct.
And just in case anyone was expecting a thoughtful explanation of the new material, Lt. Louie Scrapinetti offered a remarkably concise statement.
“Fu*k Off.”
Well, that clears things up.
X-COPS first appeared in 1995, bringing their twisted parody of law enforcement to the stage with a combination of metal, punk attitude and deliberately offensive humor. Their theatrical approach has always leaned heavily into the absurd, portraying a collection of corrupt, incompetent officers who probably wouldn’t survive a routine background check.
After making noise in 1995 and 1996, the band resurfaced in 2024 and has apparently decided that 2026 could use another disturbance.
But Confidential also arrives with an interesting announcement.
According to the band’s characteristically unhinged press release, this will be the final recording featuring the current lineup.
Naturally, that declaration comes with a bizarre explanation involving a prisoner, an emergency appeal and an impending execution.
Because simply announcing a lineup change would apparently be far too professional.
The new record continues the group’s commitment to outrageous satire, aggressive music and pushing the boundaries of good taste.
For anyone unfamiliar with X-COPS, subtlety has never been part of the job description.
And with the band currently sharing the road with GWAR, audiences can probably expect considerably more chaos than a typical rock concert.
Confidential is available now on 7-inch vinyl and digital streaming platforms through Pit Records.
As for whether this truly marks the end of the current lineup, only time will tell.
But if X-COPS have taught us anything over the past three decades, it’s that you should never trust a police report written by these guys.
Information provided by X-COPS’ publicity team.